He Was My Very Good Friend

I cannot comes to terms with this, the whole thing seems surreal
I don't know how to deal with this; I don't know how to feel

I'm angry, hurt and confused, pissed off at this disease that kills
Whether drinking or smoking or snorting, shooting or "just" using pills

Why must we go through life like this, terrified and alone?
Feeling like we've never belonged, like we're destined forever to roam

We do it to calm the confusion, but mostly to numb the pain
How ironic that what we then have is more and more of the same

Those who aren't like us don't get it, can't imagine what's in our heads
They cannot possibly fathom, why sometimes we feel we'd be better off dead

They'll never ever get it, this tortured existence we bear
This spiritual battle inside us; the one that all addicts share

I know better than to question, God's choices I can't comprehend
But how can I not sit and wonder, why me and not my friend?

Why did He grant me this gift, this thing we call recovery?
This journey of spiritual awakening, this path of self-discovery

Damn it I wish Mitch could have found it; I loved him like a brother
Why do you pick and choose God? Why some of us and not the others

Not because of who we are, I am no better than he
Why did you grant me clear vision? When Miitchell never could see

Not because I earned it, it is no prize I've won
Why take a fragile brother? Why take a mother's only son?

My only consolation while struggling through these days
Is that you always love us even when we're led astray

By grace you love us not because of any good works we've done
You saved us with your greatest gift, your only begotten Son

You see us not for who we are but who we want to be
You know us deep inside our hearts, where others may not see

So at last he has found peace Lord, I know his hand you hold
He's no longer weak and weary, but through you strong and bold

I'm comforted by your Word, the rock on which I stand
You know you had to save us from the carnal nature of man

So knowing this I beseech you Lord, protect him until the end
Until in heaven I see his face - for he was my very good friend